It can be heart-breaking to watch an elderly loved one deteriorate, whether mentally, physically or both. While the signs of illness are more obvious, spotting dangerous behaviors that signal mental deterioration can be difficult.

If another family member is unable to care for an aging person, then nursing homes are often the only other option. Choosing a nursing home whether here in Alabama or elsewhere can be a stressful decision. That stress can be amplified because of news stories about nursing home neglect and elder abuse by staff.

The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services provide Nursing Home Compare, an online service that rates nursing homes on a five star system. As with any system, however, it is not perfect, and families need to check in on their loved one from time to time and see for themselves.

The family of one woman in a nursing home did not find out until after her death that she was suffering from an infected bedsore. She was in an adult family home and her caretakers neglected to tell doctors, nurses and the woman's family about her infected bedsore. She later died in pain from the sore.

Bedsores are a red flag when it comes to nursing home neglect. Residents who are bedridden and cannot turn themselves must be moved every few hours to avoid bed sores. If the sores get infected, they can be deadly. Bed sores are a sign that the nursing home is either negligent or understaffed.

Family members should be aware of the sign of neglect or abuse. They include unexplained injury, fear of the staff and dramatic weight loss. As elders are often in poorer health, action must be taken immediately before fatal damage is done.

Source: WKBT La Crosse, "Families protect loved ones in old age," Dec. 30, 2011